The Changes (Part 2)

Word count: 12

Warning: sadness, mention of death.


 

Winter turns into

Spring, I’ve lost another one.

It will never stop.

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Music

Word count: 47

Warning: No warning!


Much of my life has been surrounded by it

Usually just for fun, especially for special occasions

Sometimes it provided an escape from reality

It’s when the beat lifts my soul, and my worries with it, that I feel at peace, I just

Can’t live without it

Judgment

Word count: 239

Warning: taunting, mocking, might trigger those with depression.


You shouldn’t be so afraid,

It’s unbecoming of you. It leaves

You vulnerable to their attacks –

To my attacks. You’re afraid of crying?

That they won’t understand,

That they’ll use me and not calmly

Discuss your emotions? How pathetic!

Crying is a weakness, and oh, it’s such

A delicious way to poke and prod you.

Continue reading “Judgment”

Condemn

Word count: 145

Warning: A lot of sadness


Silence.

Silence is golden,

Silence is precious,

Silence keeps me safe.

My mind is a void,

An overflowing, overthinking

Boisterous void which comforts me,

Consoles me, builds me up and

Breaks me down, exploits my fears,

Beats me within an inch of my soul

In one second.

And yet, my mouth can’t form the words

I desperately want to say,

It stutters, it hesitates,

It remains silent.

The words remain in my mind,

Only released on paper

Or Microsoft Word..

 

The silence is maddening.

It is not golden or precious,

It harms me instead of protecting me –

It screams in my mind yet

Refuses to let even a hum escape.

 

Please, please set me free

From the bonds of your cruelty,

For once let me say what’s on my mind

Without fear of judgment or disappointment.

I’d do anything to get of this

Condemning silence

I’m Okay

Word count: 240

Warning: Sadness, mentions of depression


Why do I feel this way?
So sad, so hopeless, so empty
Longing to finally talk to someone
About everything that makes me want to hide
But it’s hard
It’s so hard

It’s so hard to confess my real feelings
When I don’t know how to put them into words
And even if I do, they catch in my throat,
Never to be spoken

I just don’t want to worry, and
I’m so scared of being judged,
Scared of being mocked

It’s so hard to let down my walls
And cry in front of you
When I’m so afraid of being weak,
Of being vulnerable, all because your words

It’s so much easier keep quiet and hide my feelings
It’s so easy to say “I’m okay”
When really, I’m far from it

I wish I had the courage
To be honest with myself
I wish I had the courage
To express myself,
Not just in words but to the people I trust most

But it’s hard
It’s so hard

It’s so hard to be happy
When the person you love most
Suffers every day and all their
Happiness has diminished
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
If I could make you happy

I wish I could make you happy

I wish I could make myself happy

I can’t help that I feel this way,
It just happens
I desperately wish
I could explain why
But I can’t
It’s just too hard

Don’t Give Up

Word count: 88

Warning: No warning!


When it becomes too much,

And you give up on hope,

Remember the struggles you’ve been through

Remember the joy and comfort you find in your family and friends

Remember the reason why you’re sacrificing time, sleep, happiness…

Remember that you’ve come too far to give up now

It’s okay to take a breather,

To relax,

To unwind

Don’t bother your mind with the foolish chatter

Of mindless idiots who try to get in the way of your goal

You can do anything if you believe you can