Sister, Sister

Word count: 185

Warning: No warning!


I wonder what goes on in that head of yours,

Your dreams, your hopes, your ambitions

You’re such a beautiful girl,

It’s a shame, the choices you’ve made

They will forever follow you, even after death

You’re a cunning thief,

And an even better liar

The things you’ve done are almost unforgivable

I love you, sister,

But I hate the things you’ve done,

This persona of stupidity, the acts of treason

How could you hurt me like this?

I could’ve avoided this frustrating deafness,

These annoyingly weak eyes,

Those painful braces,

Family is not worth anything, sometimes

All they want is to suck every bit of joy,

Create chaos and confusion

You could’ve changed your ways,

I guess you still can,

But How can anyone trust you?

I wish I had Mom’s and Auntie M’s relationship,

To have a sister who loves me for who I am,

And not simply because of our mother

What happened?

Who made you hurt so much,

To have no respect for yourself

Is the saddest thing on Earth

I truly, genuinely hope,

That you find inner peace one day.

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Scum

Word count: 120

Warning: Angst, anger, general negative feelings.


When I first met you,

I looked up to you

As if you were another brother of mine

We took you in

And you stabbed us in the back

You betrayed in the worst of ways,

You lazy prick

I hope you’re happy,

Because I guarantee

You will never find another family

Like us

When I first met you,

I pitied you

You lost someone precious,

And I know now how that feels

But even so,

You did us wrong,

You liar,

You thief

I know you deviants

For what you really are

Lazy,

Gluttonous,

Traitorous,

Thieves,

Scum.

The only thing worse than you

Is the Devil that’s living in my house

I’ll be glad when I’m finally

Free

You Put The Satan in Satan

Word count: 94

Warning: This poem has vulgar language and Religious (Christian) references.


Even the nicest people can get fed up with someone’s bullshit

So please stop treating me like trash, you cunt, I’ve had enough of it

Happiness does not live here anymore, you took that the minute you stepped in,

And you’d better pray God has mercy on your worthless soul, too great is your sin

Never have I thought I would be in such pain,

It would’ve been best, when you cut innocent flesh, if you were slain

Even I wouldn’t wish this torture on my greatest enemy

When

Word count: 71

Warning: sadness, self-hatred


I wish I could be free, to not

Have this looming shadow over me, it’s

Almost as though

There’s never, ever

Enough time to catch my breath

Maybe one day true happiness will

Yield, after all won’t I make it if I fake it? The

Sole purpose, has not been clear,

Even to me, I only know the

Lines are my

Feelings and I don’t know where to go from here

New Year, New Me

Word count: 252

Warning: Sadness, frequent mentions of death


It’s 2017 –

A new year, a new beginning, a new adventure!
As January rolls in, I relish the good things in life:

A happy family, good grades –
Yet as we celebrate Grandpa’s birthday, it seems as though

We have more reason to mourn.
Two months later,
Im dying inside,
Drowning in a tidal wave
Of emotions I’ve never felt before.
Life only went downhill from there.

It’s 2018 –

A new year, a new beginning, a new adventure,
And though I’m doubtful it’ll be joyful, I have to hope.
I’m stuck with nowhere to go,
And as February rolls around
I lose yet another piece of my heart.
I was right to my dismay. 2018 was as horrible as 2017.

It’s 2019, a new year, a new adventure.
I’ve been praying and hoping,
And even though I know nothing will change,

I’m grateful for the ever-changing mindset I’ve adopted.

For a moment, I’ve fooled myself into thinking things were getting better,
But it’s March 7th, and I’m thinking another piece of my heart has chipped away.

Why?
Death is inevitable, I’ve always known that,
But one year after another my heart breaks a little.
Is it just a cruel joke?
Is it not enough that I undermine myself?
Is it not enough to live an entire lifetime wishing to be normal?
Is it not enough that my emotions and sensitivity cause more harm than good?

I don’t know who I’ll lose next, but I’ll continue getting my hopes up for a better tomorrow

 

 

The Eternal War

Word count: 67

Warning:  frequent mentions of Self-hatred.


I’m stuck

Between these two forces

They’re called “Self-hatred” and “Self-Love”

They’ve been at war

Since I was little

And now I think

In this recent battle,

Self-Hate has won,

Over and over and over again

I cherish the small victories

Self-Love has won,

But how long will it be

Before Self-Hate consumes me

Completely?

This eternal war

Will be the death of me