I’m Okay

Word count: 240

Warning: Sadness, mentions of depression


Why do I feel this way?
So sad, so hopeless, so empty
Longing to finally talk to someone
About everything that makes me want to hide
But it’s hard
It’s so hard

It’s so hard to confess my real feelings
When I don’t know how to put them into words
And even if I do, they catch in my throat,
Never to be spoken

I just don’t want to worry, and
I’m so scared of being judged,
Scared of being mocked

It’s so hard to let down my walls
And cry in front of you
When I’m so afraid of being weak,
Of being vulnerable, all because your words

It’s so much easier keep quiet and hide my feelings
It’s so easy to say “I’m okay”
When really, I’m far from it

I wish I had the courage
To be honest with myself
I wish I had the courage
To express myself,
Not just in words but to the people I trust most

But it’s hard
It’s so hard

It’s so hard to be happy
When the person you love most
Suffers every day and all their
Happiness has diminished
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
If I could make you happy

I wish I could make you happy

I wish I could make myself happy

I can’t help that I feel this way,
It just happens
I desperately wish
I could explain why
But I can’t
It’s just too hard

Advertisements

The Second Eclipse

Word count: 127

Warning: Sadness, Frequent mentions of death


I hadn’t known you long,

But I felt closer to you than I’d ever thought possible

We both lost a father that day

And then, a month before his solemn anniversary,

You left to go be with him

You were far too young,

I suppose your heart just couldn’t take it

I wish it wasn’t so

Now Mother’s illness is worse,

There’s nothing a mere 16-year-old can do,

Except for watching the person she loves most

Break under the weight of the world.

It should’ve been the cruel, wretched man,

Who enjoys the cold embrace of evil

It should’ve been someone who deserved it

I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to get to know you

I truly hope that you have peace, now.

A Foolish Tendency

Word count: 211

Warning: Sadness, mention of depression


Happiness does not live here anymore.

I’ve tried to recreate an irreplaceable relationship, like a stupid fool

For no one knew, you could be so cruel

This home, once happy and untainted

Soon became depressed and oppressed

Happiness does not live here anymore.

Continue reading “A Foolish Tendency”